To say I have been thinking about this blog for a few days now is an understatement. I have considered writing it, then decided not too, then considered it again and eventually have decided to put my thoughts down on this subject!
A few weeks back Jordan was attacked by a German Shepherd at our puppy training school. This dog seemed to have a problem from the start, but we were all very accommodating and I actually felt sorry for the lady involved as to this dogs issues.
This dog seemed to want to go for any of the other dogs. Eventually one Tuesday evening this dog broke loose from the leash and unfortunately Jordan happened to run past at that time. Well the dog took off and jumped up on him growling, showing teeth etc.
Unfortunately I was too far away from Jordan to do anything, as was the trainer., bar us shouting at jordan to stand still etc. Thankfully Jordan listened and at the same time instinctively pulled his arms over his head and stood still, otherwise the whole situation could have turned out a lot worse.
Instead of doing the right thing in this instance and apologise she straight away started looking for excuses for the dog. The dog was protective of her, the dog was protective of his toy and then the major excuse “A child like THAT shouldn’t be allowed at the puppy school!”…….and there it was …….the judgement, the discrimination, the total lack of empathy being resurfaced in our lives.
Thankfully, probably for her, I did not hear this statement. I do however believe the trainer set her straight saying that the problem did not lie with the child, but with the dog and more so the handler!
All of those feelings resurfaced for me. The total disgust at how quickly people are to judge. The total upset feeling of my child being discriminated against. The total hurt of someone just saying something without thinking of how it will affect the people it is directed too.
Have people not learnt that unless you walk in the shoes of the person you are talking about, you should not say anything?!
This brought me right back to the initial time I was so hurt by someone telling me how lucky I was that my child was mute because I had silence in the car on the way home (when all i wanted was my child to talk). It brought me right back to realising how far Jordan and I have come and it brought me right back to feeling sorry for someone else! Yes, lady, I feel sorry for you for not being able to accept your own short comings. I feel sorry for you for not being able to have empathy!. I feel sorry for you for not having the guts to apologise when you are in the wrong.
It has also brought me back to a place of being thankful. Thankful for the lessons I have learnt in life. Thankful for the fact that if I am in the wrong I am able to apologise. Thankful for the fact that I am able to try to put other peoples feelings ahead of my own (which at times is hard to do, but I try)
As well as being thankful for the fact that this child was given to me NOT because I am special (as some well meaning people may say) BUT thankful for the fact that he is working in my life, just as much as I am working in his. And I am sure he is moulding me into a better kind of person.
And that dear lady with the aggressive dog is what I wish for you……..”not that you one day have THAT kind of child (so that you know what it feels like), but I wish that you become THAT kind of person” – so that one day in the future you will get it and understand how your actions or comments affect those around you and perhaps you can make a change!