Guilty as Charged………BUT……..watch this space!

Today I read a very interesting post….”are you babying your Special Needs Child?”………

http://specialkids.co.za/home/index.php/solutions/item/203-are-you-babying-your-special-needs-child#.VQB6MFpUTu2

Hmmmmmm am I?, or not??……Well, to be honest in some instances I need to agree – yes I am!

I did have the baby bottle, long after age appropriate.

I did have problems with toilet training although I disagree that this is “babying the child”  I think especially with regards to toilet training there are many issues that causes a child to have difficulty in this area and you need to find what works for you and your child in order to get this right!  it may take some time but so be it!

Yes, I have allowed my child to become fixated on particular toys but thank goodness we got rid of Barney long ago…..in actual fact the dog ended up with Barney..which he shredded to bits 🙂  any parent who has gone through Barney for a few years will smile at this 🙂

Yes, I have given in or made a sibling give in in certain instances but also believe that at times this is a coping mechanism that you need to adapt.  To get you through. To help you cope.

Yes, we do cater to eating needs.  But when you are faced with a child that refuses to eat anything but…what do you do???  let him starve or give him chicken nuggets almost every night?

Yes, i have packed bags, tied shoes, tidied rooms and not given chores – and for this I say “watch this space” I agree that I shouldn’t treat my neurotypical child differently by giving him chores and not my autistic child.  I agree that I will be preparing him for the future by making him do things for himself.  I agree in this way I have babied him and need to change this!

Yes, it is difficult to distinguish between bad behaviours being bad behaviours or being as a result of autism BUT thankfully this is getting easier now that my child is talking and that i know he understands right and wrong.  I agree he probably got away with a lot that my neurotypical child wouldn’t have BUT so be it.

When you are struggling along a road that you know nothing about you adapt things at the time that make life more bearable.  Even if only for a short time and you know what there is nothing wrong with that!  you do whatever you need to do to cope as this gives you strength to face another day.  This gives you strength to face the stares, the comments, the criticism.

Although I agree I need to make changes to give my child more independence and to be able to one day not need me – I also agree that this happens when it needs to happen and what ever you need to do to cope at that particular time, you need to do!  Its your journey and only you can plot your footprints and change direction when and if it needs to be changed.

So yes, I am at that point thankfully when I can change direction, when I can start pulling back on what I do for my child, when I can start making him become more independent and one day actually he may not need me.  BUT I do believe that I needed to do most of the things i did to get us to this point and I do believe that this happens at different times for each family.

And so, whilst I say “watch this space”as things are about to take a change in our lives, I do say trust your gut and go at your pace for you and your child.  Noone knows better than you do but you can always take suggestions and see how they work for you if you are ready.  I know we are ready and someone (Jordy) needs to start taking responsibilities for himself.

Today I told him to tidy his room (something Ive been doing) and I was told to “wind my broom in” hmm I wouldn’t let my neurotypical get away with that, so although quite amusing I need to put my foot down here too!!!!

And so begins a new chapter in our lives…….watch this space 🙂

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One thought on “Guilty as Charged………BUT……..watch this space!

  1. Dear Debbie, we’ve said it before. so won’t tell you again how proud we are of your achievements along your journey “without a roadmap” – so we’ll watch this space! Yes, only you can know exactly when is the time to make necessary changes, and we hope that the decision to give Jordy more responsibilities is the right time. Gotta start somewhere, right?

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