Thinking Back…….

When Jordan was 3.5 years old I needed to go back to work and so he started pre-school.  He was still non-verbal at the time and unfortunately we were still battling with potty training!  I found an amazing pre-school close to my work and he started going.  I found it more difficult to leave him there on the first day then I did with my older son. Perhaps it was my motherly instinct telling me he needed more care? – I’m not sure.

After a while the Headmistress of the school called me in and it was her who suggested I take him for an assessment as she felt it was more than the Doctors telling me “not to worry, he has an older brother who does everything for him and he’s your second child you know what he wants etc, etc” …..you know the usual excuses I am referring too when you suspect something is wrong!

I remember feeling apprehensive as I drove to the assessment venue but nothing could have prepared me for the outcome.  My parents met me at the assessment venue as moral support as none knew what the outcome would be…..

“Your child has Atypical Autism Not Otherwise Specified”!!!!

I was terrified, What did that mean? What was happening? What was going to become of my little boy?  I had so many questions yet couldn’t get anything to come out of my mouth.

I don’t even remember driving home. All I remember is sobbing the whole way home.  I had confirmation there was something wrong with my little boy yet I still didn’t know what it all meant.

I spent the next couple of months in mourning.  Its a strange thing to mourn for a child who is still with you.  I am sure it is a process that one goes through when you are unsure about how things are going to turn out.  Its sort of a loss of hope and dreams I think?

I then hit a sort of denial – I need to take him for a second opinion – Im sure they were wrong.  I found an amazing Educational Psychologist but her diagnosis was the same!  The only difference is she phoned me the following day to find out how I was, how I felt and gave me hope by giving me options of the way forward.  She introduced me to an amazing Occupational Therapist and an amazing Speech Therapist and Jordan and I began our journey into this Autism world that I knew nothing about.

I thank the Lord everyday for bringing these three people into my life.  They made the difference and helped me to start seeing that the smallest, slightest, minutest progress was still progress and these little moments became my first form of blessings along our journey….

My next few “Thinking Back” posts will highlight these blessings 🙂

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2007 – Jordan started pre-school. Heres a photo of him and his older brother Dylan (who is such an amazing older brother)

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10 thoughts on “Thinking Back…….

  1. Thank you for risking yourself to share your experience Debbie. You may never know the impact and hope it will have on others. There is nothing “wrong ” with Jordan ….he has different needs to others but remains a wonderful loving boy who will achieve in life.This is because you faced the truth and acted upon it. You are a great mom …..well done. I have experience of having had the privilege of knowing a number of autistic and needs children and must say my life has been enriched for having had them in my life , even if just for a short period.

    1. Thank you so much Pat! Yes, these children are a blessing (as are all children). But it is the reality of learning to appreciate the small things in life. Every small step is a huge blessing. It kind of teaches you to “stop to smell the roses”and you tend to appreciate things more and not take anything for granted.

  2. Dear Debbie, have said it before, we’re so proud of you! What you have done and obviously are still doing, is nothing short of amazing! Love your blog, Dad & Mom

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